In a restless state, I woke this morning before my alarm and stared out my window at the overcast sky. The decision I needed to make was weighing on my mind. Silently, I began to pray to God, “Do I keep my blog up & running? Is blogging really worth the effort and the expense? Do You even care about this silly, little hobby of mine?”
Tomorrow, on July 27th, the contract with my current blog hosting site expires. If I am going to continue Adventures in the Ordinary I have to renew my contract by midnight tonight. It seems like a simple decision, but being true to my nature, I’ve been over-thinking the entire blogging venture. When I started blogging, I began to express thoughts which had lived inside me for years. Almost immediately, it became evident God was using the blog for His glory. I gained a following and began to receive private emails from strangers and people I barely knew. Readers eagerly told me how grateful they were for my honesty, and the word “transparent” became a buzz-word in my life. I have made incredible friendships through this form of written word and each friendship has enhanced my life greatly.
So, why would I stop?
Quite frankly–things have changed substantially since I first began blogging. In the last couple months I learned that sometimes people will take things I say, or write, and purposely misinterpret them. There are people who desire to misunderstand me, and the more I make myself available to their scrutiny–the easier target I am. Blogging has changed because I learned that my words aren’t falling only on safe ears. In short, I have willing and dangerous critics.
The alarm on my phone began to ring, and I stopped praying and lifted myself from my bed. I looked down at my phone and noticed a trusted friend had emailed me while I was sleeping. I read her email, and smiled at the way God has been using her in my life. At the end of her message she attached a link telling me to read something and to cling to its truth. She wrote: “these words were life building to my broken heart even though they weren’t written directly to me. I had printed it out and re-read it periodically as a reminder and Isaiah 61:10 still hangs on my mirror.” The link she attached led to my own blog.
Because I am amazed by these types of “coincidences”, I leaned over, woke my husband, and shared the story with him. I told him of the thoughts I had been weighing and of the incoming email. For my husband, this was an indication that the blogging should continue. He was certain. Me…not so much. A lot of pain has been dumped on me over the last month. Is it worth it?
About an hour later, my husband was about to walk out the door when he came to me and said, “Hey…I just want to give you this. I found it taped over your desk. For some reason it caught my attention. Look at the date. It was written one year ago–today.”
He handed me a yellow, hand-written letter of encouragement from a friend. In the note, my friend shared with me the way the Lord has used my blogs to inspire her. She wrote and told me to always remember my blogging is for the Lord. The note has been taped over my desk for a year. I put it there so I would not forget that which I seem to have forgotten.
God has not given us random gifts to be used indiscriminately or squandered. He is intentional with the talents He gives to His children. He has far-reaching purposes and plans and when we use our gifts we become a part of the plan. Even when it is painful.
To blog or not to blog. Here is the answer.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3