Amazing blue sky, you welcome me, and your far stretching beauty reminds me of things that have come and gone, and of things that will never fade–things that are mine forever.
Weeks before her wedding my daughter received “something blue” for her wedding. A cotton handkerchief. Embroidered with simple white flowers. Soft from washing, aged with love, as it once had belonged to the her Great Grandmother.
Moments before her wedding, I looked across a room filled with the bridal party and saw my beautiful daughter leaning against a wall. Several feet away from her closest friends and her brothers–she watched them. I watched her watching them, and I knew that while no photographer would catch this moment, I wanted to be able to hold onto it for a lifetime. Then, something in her mind must have struck a cord and began to bring treasured emotions to the rim of her eyes. I could see her emotions building– in a promise filled, joyful way that would bring light tears. She looked at me and saw me watching her. Then she lifted the soft blue handkerchief by two corners and held it like a wall so that I couldn’t see her face. Her cotton wall made me smile. No one else saw, and it was only for a moment–but it is mine forever.
Logan Cole Photography { logancoleblog.com }
The sweet little handkerchief made its way through the ceremony, and ended up being a useful accessory to the groom. Watching his bride come down the isle proved to be quite emotional for him, and his bride sweetly passed him her heirloom to dry his tears. It was a simple act on their wedding day as they bound their individual hopes and dreams into one and became their own family. For those of us who caught it, it made us smile. It wasn’t planned, and it was only for a moment–but it is mine forever.
I treasure photographs that remind of things that I never wanted to forget, but I love the memories, never caught on film, that I have been able to retain through my life. They are like etched glass in my mind–always there and easy for me to find.
While walking on a clear blue day, I cannot help but see the similarity of the sky and the eyes of people I treasure. Lovely blue eyes looking up into my own. Lovely newborn eyes searching my face and gathering me into a tiny heart. Crystallized blue memories, when God smiled at a Brown Eyed Girl and gave her three blue eyed babies. Something in those memories strikes a cord and begins to bring treasured emotions to the rim of my eyes. Some promise filled and joyful. Some regretful–dark, broken and hopeless.
I picture my first born–a little girl with eyes that put the sky to shame. I picture the sweet boy who came next–ocean blue eyes and golden hair like the sun reflecting off the waves. Then…
One of the "too rare" photos of all of the Sill children together.
I think of the blue eyes of my daughter that died so suddenly and feel a lump in my throat, I push it down on this sunny day. Sunshine demands more from me. Blue skies call for lovely memories, and this blueness I am drawn into is not lovely. It is not lovely, but, it is part of who I am. The blueness of life gets interwoven between that which is pleasurable and that which is painful…and that reality is how I will forever treasure something blue. It lasts only for a moment–but it is mine forever.
9 comments
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Nicole Wian
September 20, 2011 at 8:52 pm (UTC -7)
Poetic, honest and beautiful.
DavidSill
September 20, 2011 at 8:56 pm (UTC -7)
Blue…a word that is beautiful and does draw my attention to Emily’s dazzling eyes and Austin’s mischievous ones. Blue also expresses the emotion I feel when I think about my blue-eyed daddy’s girl that left so suddenly. The color Blue is also something amazing. So many shades. Some fair and some so deep that it can’t help but remind me of the love I share with you.
DavidSill recently posted..The Way I See “Something Blue”
Jennifer
September 20, 2011 at 10:20 pm (UTC -7)
So beautifuly written. Thank you for sharing such a private moment that will forever be in your memory but can now forever be written down to look back on a re-read as a reminder of love conveyed through a hankerchief.
Joan
September 20, 2011 at 11:20 pm (UTC -7)
Jackie – now I’m in tears reading this – precious, loving memories.
Blessings,
Joan
Joan recently posted..For Such a Time As This
kelli
September 20, 2011 at 11:58 pm (UTC -7)
Beautiful pictures and a beautiful message! I can feel your sweet emotion as I read this blog..:)
BILLIE MCELROY
September 21, 2011 at 3:36 am (UTC -7)
and then there was the beautiful brown eyed boy. Gotta love those brown eyes!
Christina
September 21, 2011 at 4:22 am (UTC -7)
wow, Jackie that was so so beautiful. So wonderfully written with such beautiful, raw, emotion-You are so gifted!
Pamela
September 21, 2011 at 12:04 pm (UTC -7)
Hard things we face coupled with joyful memories. Praying for you today as you hold on to the sweet memories.
Pamela recently posted..Books for Sheltering
Jen
September 21, 2011 at 3:08 pm (UTC -7)
Oh, Jac — not only do I treasure this because of the poignant truth contained on the page, but because you shared with us something that has caused you such great pain. I love how you address the “blueness” and the two extremes of it — what comforting place to welcome those who enter in here.
Sweetness To The Soul
September 21, 2011 at 1:20 am (UTC -7)
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