Amazing blue sky, you welcome me, and your far stretching beauty reminds me of things that have come and gone, and of things that will never fade–things that are mine forever.
Weeks before her wedding my daughter received “something blue” for her wedding. A cotton handkerchief. Embroidered with simple white flowers. Soft from washing, aged with love, as it once had belonged to the her Great Grandmother.
Moments before her wedding, I looked across a room filled with the bridal party and saw my beautiful daughter leaning against a wall. Several feet away from her closest friends and her brothers–she watched them. I watched her watching them, and I knew that while no photographer would catch this moment, I wanted to be able to hold onto it for a lifetime. Then, something in her mind must have struck a cord and began to bring treasured emotions to the rim of her eyes. I could see her emotions building– in a promise filled, joyful way that would bring light tears. She looked at me and saw me watching her. Then she lifted the soft blue handkerchief by two corners and held it like a wall so that I couldn’t see her face. Her cotton wall made me smile. No one else saw, and it was only for a moment–but it is mine forever.
The sweet little handkerchief made its way through the ceremony, and ended up being a useful accessory to the groom. Watching his bride come down the isle proved to be quite emotional for him, and his bride sweetly passed him her heirloom to dry his tears. It was a simple act on their wedding day as they bound their individual hopes and dreams into one and became their own family. For those of us who caught it, it made us smile. It wasn’t planned, and it was only for a moment–but it is mine forever.
I treasure photographs that remind of things that I never wanted to forget, but I love the memories, never caught on film, that I have been able to retain through my life. They are like etched glass in my mind–always there and easy for me to find.
While walking on a clear blue day, I cannot help but see the similarity of the sky and the eyes of people I treasure. Lovely blue eyes looking up into my own. Lovely newborn eyes searching my face and gathering me into a tiny heart. Crystallized blue memories, when God smiled at a Brown Eyed Girl and gave her three blue eyed babies. Something in those memories strikes a cord and begins to bring treasured emotions to the rim of my eyes. Some promise filled and joyful. Some regretful–dark, broken and hopeless.
I picture my first born–a little girl with eyes that put the sky to shame. I picture the sweet boy who came next–ocean blue eyes and golden hair like the sun reflecting off the waves. Then…
I think of the blue eyes of my daughter that died so suddenly and feel a lump in my throat, I push it down on this sunny day. Sunshine demands more from me. Blue skies call for lovely memories, and this blueness I am drawn into is not lovely. It is not lovely, but, it is part of who I am. The blueness of life gets interwoven between that which is pleasurable and that which is painful…and that reality is how I will forever treasure something blue. It lasts only for a moment–but it is mine forever.