Many years ago, when the death of my daughter Molly was still fresh, I approached Mother’s Day with a sense of dread. I was navigating through some heavy depression, and in my emotional state, the day was merely a reminder of the way I had failed. The lies I believed had me convinced I had failed my daughter, and my failure had led to her death: “You didn’t get her to the hospital in time for her life to be saved. If you were a better Mother, Molly would still be alive.” The last thing I wanted to do was to be celebrated for my role as a Mother. Anything else, but not as a Mother.
It took a lot of prayer and scripture meditation to silence the lies I was hearing, but living in that place for a while taught me a valuable lesson. Not every person approaches Mother’s Day with the same sentiment. There are women among us who dread the day. For women who are unable to conceive a child, Motherhood is an elusive dream. And, while Mother’s Day only comes once a year, a whole day dedicated to the one role they have yet to fulfill can make them feel as if the entire world is mocking them.
Then there are the Mothers who lost the dream after it was conceived. Little lives lost before they have yet to take their first breath. The pregnancy test confirms the beginning of life, and the dream grows in the heart and mind of the Mother. But, for reasons she may never know, the life is cut short. When it is confirmed that the baby’s heart is no longer beating, the Mother often feels as if her own heart has stopped as well.
The thing for each of us to remember is to be sensitive. While Mother’s Day is a celebration for most, for some it is not. The other thing to remember is God’s sovereign plans. While some may feel the day draws attention to their failures or disappointments in a desired role, becoming a parent is not our primary purpose.
I was not created to be Molly’s mother. I was not called to righteousness to raise her to adulthood. I was created and called to Salvation for the Glory of God, and He determines the roles I will live. When I allow the enemy to flood my mind with “what ifs” I become ineffective for His Kingdom. I miss out on the incredible plans He has for me because my mind is set on the plans I had for myself. When I become consumed with anything, be it my failures or my accomplishments, those thoughts distract me from fulfilling God’s plan for my life.